Dear Journal
by Crittab
Summary: Following the pillow war, Annie finds herself once again displaced and ends up on Jeff's doorstep. He decides this is the perfect time to finally tell her how he feels. This is easier said than done when the study group gets involved. - Complete
1. Chapter 1

**Spoilers:** Up to and especially _Pillows and Blankets_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Community, yo.

* * *

**Double Decker Prompt Response!**

**nsk1**: Annie can't no longer live in the college so she asks Jeff to live with him for a few days until the apartment she shares with Abed/Troy is available again

**Greta_Garbo:** Most of the sex scenes written in Jeff/Annie fic are rough and frantic. I'd like to see something softer and sweeter.

* * *

**Dear Journal Chapter 1**

Jeff sat up in his bed, notebook and pen in hand, doing what he could to get all of those thoughts and _truths_ out that Annie assumed he had bottled up. At first the idea of filling out a journal had seemed silly and pointless to him, but after his entry that afternoon, he decided there might be something to it. It was nice to be able to put his thoughts on paper and really work through the issues that were bothering him.

Jeff was surprised when the words not only came easily to him, but came en masse. He had already filled four pages, front and back, and was still going.

_Wednesday, April 4 2012_

_It was around 3:30 this afternoon when Abed and Troy called their ceasefire. I'm glad I could be a part of helping them see that their friendship was more important than some squabble brought on by pillows and blankets, but it still felt like a hollow victory. If Troy and Abed's friendship is susceptible to breaking over something so asinine, how can I have any faith in _my_ relationships? Those two were like the poster boys for co-dependence and even they came to a breaking point. _

_ I know on a logical level that I shouldn't internalize what happened between those two, but it's hard not to. Troy and Abed are part of our group. Their adventures are often larger than life, and they pull us in with them and make us a part of everything they do. If they fracture, how do we all not fracture? Hell, even I found myself fighting with a friend because of this stupid war. I still don't know if Annie and I are okay. And really, how can I expect us to be okay? Everything Annie stands for is everything I'm not. I disappoint her practically on a daily basis—not intentionally, of course, but because I don't *think* about her when I do this stuff. _

_ Take this stupid pillow war, for example. It made sense to me to help it go on as long as possible to get out of going to class. That's just who I am, and if I can use my greatest skill—talking—to my benefit, why shouldn't I?_

_ Well, it turns out, I shouldn't. My interference was putting Abed and Troy's friendship at stake... or helping them put it at stake. I don't remember her exact words, but they hurt like hell. _

_ And, you know what? It's not the first time in the past few days that Annie has said something to make me either re-evaluate what I'm doing, or just make me feel like total crap. Like that whole situation with that weird guy, Annie basically implied that I forgot about her after I kissed her. How could I possibly forget about that? She's gorgeous, sweet, wonderful and, I have to admit, she's damn good at making out. What in the world made her think that I forgot about it?_

_ I can answer that question myself. I did. I told her I wanted her to be discreet, and then I spent a year denying everything between us. I even told her—in front of all of our friends—that the important moments between us were all in her head. All in her head! What kind of an asshole says something like that?_

_ I can answer that for you, too. I do. I'm that asshole, and I don't know how not to be. And now I'm really worried that I can't get back to that place with Annie—the place where she loves and respects me, and see's me as someone she can look up to. I miss having her look at me like I'm a good person. I miss working with her and knowing that she thinks I'm going to help make everything right in the world. And I know that it's not reasonable to expect her to always see me that way, but it hurts like Hell to have it end. _

_ I wish I could just ignore everything out there in the world that tells me I can't be with Annie. Because I want to be with her—really and truly, I do. Every time I see her I either want to jump her bones, hug her, tell her I love her, or just sit there and stare at her forever. And, yea, okay, there are still times when I want to strangle her too—she's pretty obnoxious sometimes. But more often she's just Annie. Sweet, wonderful Annie who makes me want to be a better man (I know that's a cliché, but I can be cliché with you, can't I journal? You won't judge). _

_ Maybe I should stop worrying about all of the crap that I'm scared of. Like our age difference. I'm 34 and she's 21, that's 13 years. That doesn't exactly make me Hugh Hefner. She's not Kendra for God sakes. I'm also really, really afraid of what the study group will say. Britta, especially. Every time Annie and I talk to each other it feels like Britta's shooting daggers at me with her eyes. She's always so critical of me, and I'm honestly afraid of what it would do to our friendship if I got together with Annie. I know Britta's jealous of Annie—even if she doesn't want to be with me, I can't imagine she wants me to be with the same girl who ended up with her last ex boyfriend. _

_ God. We really are an incestuous bunch, aren't we? _

_ But then, maybe I shouldn't care. If Annie wants me and I want Annie, then what does it matter what Britta thinks? What society thinks? _

_ I'm pretty sure this is what Annie has been trying to get me to see all along._

Jeff was pulled from his writing by a knocking at the door. He looked at his clock: 1:30 a.m. Who the Hell was knocking on his door at 1:30 in the morning? He quickly stowed his notebook in his bedside table and wandered out of his bedroom to answer the door. His brow furrowed when he saw who was standing there.

"What are you doing here?" he asked upon opening the door. A very tired, slightly dishevelled Annie stood on the other side, her backpack slung over her shoulder, a bag in one hand and Ruthie and Nathan tucked under the other arm.

"They found out I was faking my night terrors and kicked me out of the sleep study," she explained, a frown on her lips. Jeff stepped aside, allowing her to walked past him and drop her belongings.

"How did they find out?"

"Apparently they were spying on me during the pillow war and noticed that I slept soundly when I took a nap yesterday. They already had my stuff packed and by the door when I went back there tonight." Annie teetered a little on her feet. Jeff reached out to steady her.

"You're exhausted. Did you drive here?" She nodded, yawning widely as she did so. Jeff rolled his eyes. "You should have called. I could have picked you up."

"I didn't want to bother you," she said, wandering over to the couch, flopping down hard as soon as she reached it. Jeff crossed his arms.

"What did you think you were going to do when you got here?" he teased. She looked up at him, droopy-eyed.

"I didn't think that far ahead... I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind," he answered quickly. "Did you want anything? A glass of water?" She nodded slowly, though she seemed mildly out of it. Jeff chuckled to himself over the tired girl and retreated to the kitchen to pour her some water.

"You know, I'm actually glad you stopped by," Jeff said from the kitchen sink. "I've been wanting to talk to you about the whole thing with that guy—what was his name?—it doesn't matter. It's just... all that stuff you said, about forgetting about you—and don't pretend you weren't talking about you, specifically—and dominating women and then throwing them away... it's just been driving me nuts. I know I should have said something sooner, but then the whole blanket-slash-pillow fort war happened and I guess I just got side tracked."

Jeff took a deep breath, glad he got that out of the way without having to watch her giant blue eyes scrutinizing him. With her now full glass of water, he headed back to the sofa where she was laying.

Fast asleep.

"Crap," Jeff muttered. He'd finally gotten up the nerve to get this inevitably awkward conversation going and Annie slept through it all.

He set the glass down on the coffee table and took a moment to look over his friend's sleeping form. Her lips were set in a small pout, and with her eyes closed she looked even younger than usual. The creases of stress and worry that had been permanent fixtures on her beautiful skin over the past few days had smoothed out, creating long alabaster plains along her forehead and cheeks, which were tinted ever-so-slightly with a natural blush.

She still wore her orange cardigan and blue floral dress that she'd been in for two days. Jeff should have taken that as the first sign that she was completely and utterly exhausted.

He smiled a little at her sleeping form, flopped sideways on the couch with her feet dangling off the side and hairpin still in place. She was every bit as adorable asleep as she was awake—providing her wakefulness was during a good mood.

Of course, now he had to figure out what to do with her.

He thought about just going to bed and talking to her in the morning, but then it seemed unfair to leave the exhausted girl on his small, hard, still-gross-from-Chang couch. Decision made, he scooted himself into position and tucked his arms under her body, hoisting her to him as gently as possible so as not to wake her. He hadn't borne any illusions that she'd be heavy, but it was almost unnatural how light and comfortable she was in his arms. He'd expected at least a slight struggle.

He pushed away thoughts of how this could make _other things_ pretty easy for them.

He sidestepped the couch and carried Annie toward his bedroom, smiling when she sighed in his arms and rested her head against his chest, snuggling into his embrace. His heart fluttered a little, which he would be embarrassed about, but he'd decided over the past few hours to let go of those last remnants of embarrassment. Being with Annie was what he wanted... now he just had to figure out how to tell her that, preferably while she was conscious.

He placed Annie gently onto the bed, doing his best to pull the covers out from under her and place them over top of her without waking her up. Once satisfied that she was properly _tucked in_, he turned to leave.

He stopped at the door before shutting it, taking in the view of Annie sleeping in his bed. The only thing that could have made that view better would be if he was joining her. But he wasn't, so he shut the door behind him and trekked to the couch, curling up as well as he could, and making a mental note to get better living room furniture for the next time he was forced to sleep there.

* * *

Jeff awoke the next morning to a weight settling down on the couch with him, filling the space between his knees and chest. He blinked against the harsh morning light and bit back a shiver at the chill in the room. He'd slept in his clothes without a pillow or blanket, and was suddenly very aware of that fact.

Once he blinked the sleep out of his eyes, he looked up at the woman who was now watching him from where she sat with a small smile gracing her lips.

"Morning," she greeted.

"Hey," he greeted, pushing himself up into a seated position with his legs kicked out along the length of the couch. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great, thanks. But you didn't have to give up your bed for me. I could have slept out here." She noted the way he seemed to wince when he moved. "This couch is more me-size than you-size." Jeff shrugged.

"It's fine." She frowned slightly.

"I didn't mean to impose..."

"You didn't," he answered a little too quickly. She raised an eyebrow. "I mean... I'm glad you stopped by. I was a little worried you that were still mad at me for the whole _inspiring the continuation of a pillow war_ thing." Annie rolled her eyes, but her lips quirked into a small smile.

"Yea, well, you may have redeemed yourself with the invisible friend hats." Jeff felt his cheeks heat up at this. Strange. No one had ever made him blush before.

"Oh," he said for lack of a better response. Annie smiled a little brighter and put her hand over his.

"I thought it was really great what you did, actually. I meant to thank you for it after all was said and done, but you left pretty quickly."

"Yea, being at Greendale for two and a half days isn't really for me." Annie laughed.

"Well, contrary to popular belief, it isn't for me either." Jeff smirked.

"Like Hell it isn't. You're the one who signed up for that sleep study lab."

"Okay, it isn't for me if I'm not getting credit for it. Better?"

"Much. Although I'm surprised they didn't offer you credit for your make-shift combat hospital. You'd make a good nurse, Annie." Her face lit up at this.

"You think?"

"Yea. Just imagine how many people would have low electrolytes without your heroic Gatorade IV's." They both chuckled together at the ridiculousness of the whole set up.

"I thought they were a pretty good touch," she said, giggling. Jeff smiled.

"They were. If there is any single iconic image of the great Greendale Pillow War of 2012, it's Annie Edison wielding a lint brush."

"Hmm, I would have thought it'd be Jeff Winger inspiring two sets of troops to annihilate each other."

"Maybe we can share the honour. Although I have a feeling any _iconic images_ from this particular war will be poorly framed and out of focus—Britta was the self-appointed photographer, after all." Annie laughed.

"Hey, she was on the front lines, mister. Don't knock it."

"Not knocking, just a realist."

"Well, either way, I'm glad it turned out the way it did. Once they're done tenting our apartment, I have to go home with Troy and Abed." Jeff nodded, suddenly remembering why Annie had been staying in the sleep study lab in the first place.

"Speaking of, when are you allowed to go home?"

"Saturday," she responded. "But I can find somewhere else to stay in the meantime. I only really came here last night because I didn't want to wake up baby Ben by calling Shirley so late." Jeff felt his heartbeat speed up a little. He wasn't sure why, but the prospect of Annie leaving him sent him into slight-panic mode.

"No, Annie, it's fine. I don't mind if you stay here." She looked hesitant. "Seriously, I don't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, totally. Besides, it's just two more nights. I'm sure my back can handle the couch for that long." He wasn't sure about that; he just didn't want her to leave.

"No, no, you take the bed. I'll sleep on the couch." Jeff shook his head.

"What kind of host makes his guest sleep on the couch?"

"The kind who is too big for the couch? Seriously, it'll be fine."

"But..."

"No buts. I'll only agree to stay if you promise to take the bed." Jeff considered this for a moment.

"Okay, fine. But if you end up back in a back brace, you'll be getting lots of 'told ya so's' from me." Annie scoffed and smacked his chest.

"I'll have you know I haven't worn a back brace since I was fifteen. My back is in _perfect_ condition now. They should make me a superhero and call me "Back Woman" I have such a good back." Jeff chuckled.

"Alright, I'll give you the back brace thing, but..." he peeked behind her, sizing up her back (which was pin-straight, as usual). "... I may have to get a closer look at the merchandise before I start calling you Back Woman." He grinned at the way Annie blushed at the insinuation, but was surprised when she squared her shoulders and levelled him with a cocky smirk of her own.

"Oh, silly Jeff. If you got a closer look at the merchandise my back would _not_ be the part you'd be naming me after."

Jeff sat in stunned silence while a thoroughly pleased Annie bolted from the couch, heading toward the kitchen saying something about breakfast. He tried to respond, but his head was still too busy considering the merchandise.

* * *

_Hope you liked it. Let me know!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Spoilers:** Up to and especially _Pillows and Blankets_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Community, yo.

* * *

**Dear Journal Chapter 2  
**

It was around 9:30 when Jeff and Annie made their way into the study room. Annie had been planning to bring her old beater to school, but Jeff had convinced her to ride with him in his Lexus. His theory was, if he could keep doing her favours he could maybe start making up for all of the times he _didn't_ make Annie happy—like after their make-out session at the Tranny Dance—the one he _didn't_ forget, and the one he was hoping to re-enact in the coming days.

They entered to find the study group all in place, listening to Dean Pelton do his best to explain school policy.

"...you have to understand that this isn't my decision. Apparently it's been _right here_ in the policy manual since..." he peeked at the front cover,"...1987 when it was last revised."

"But we don't have anywhere else to go. Our apartment is being tented for termites," Troy explained.

"Well, I'm sorry Troy, but apparently having that many linens next to radiators and in front of emergency exits is a fire code violation. I know, I was surprised to hear it too."

"Let me see that," Britta said, snatching the book from Dean Pelton. She ran her finger over the policy. "This doesn't say _linens_, it says flammable objects."

"Linens _are_ flammable, Britta," Annie chimed in, now seated next to Shirley. The blond shot her an irritated look, but handed the book back to the Dean.

"Exactly, thank you Annie. I'm sorry boys, but I'm going to have to ask that you dismantle the forts and find somewhere else to stay. The airport Ramada has a _great_ room sale on right now."

"How do you know about what sales the _airport Ramada_ has on?" Jeff asked, smirking. The Dean stammered his response before hastily making his exit.

"Where are we supposed to go now?" Troy asked, sulking in his seat.

"You can always come back to the mansion, Troy. You're bed's already turned down," Pierce offered. Troy grimaced, but nodded.

"What about Abed?" Annie asked.

"Sorry A-bed, most of my staff is afraid of you." The group rolled their eyes, except Abed, who looked around.

"What about you, Jeff?" he asked. Jeff bit the inside of his cheek, not really sure how to explain that he didn't have a free couch. Annie jumped in.

"Actually, I'm staying with Jeff." Five sets of eyes settled on the girl, two of which were more critical than the others.

"I thought you were staying in the sleep study lab," Britta questioned, a tint of scepticism in her voice.

"They kicked me out when they found out I was faking my night terrors," she explained. "Jeff was nice enough to let me stay." She offered him a small smile that he was hesitant to return.

"Oh I bet he was," Britta said, now levelling him with a glare.

"Hey, none of that," Annie interjected. "Jeff's been a perfect gentleman. He even slept on the couch and let me take the bed."

"Well, strictly speaking the Lord condemns living in sin like this, but I guess as long as you're not sharing a room..." Shirley said, although her voice sounded unsure.

"Still, I think Abed should stay with you guys," Britta jumped in once again. She smirked at Jeff. "I'm sure you wouldn't mind making a little more room for him. You know, so we have eyes on the inside."

"Eyes on the... what? Britta... Annie's a big girl, she doesn't need a chaperone."

"Says the 34 year old man with a teenager sleeping in his bed."

"Umm, I'm 21. I don't need a babysitter—especially not with Jeff. Would you guys listen to yourselves? Jeff is our friend and you're treating him like he's some kind of sexual predator." Jeff looked between Britta and Annie who were now shooting lasers at each other with their eyes.

"Okay, you know what? It's fine—Abed, you can stay with me too. I don't know where to put you, but we'll work it out. If it'll stop all of this," he said, gesturing between Annie and Britta, "then I don't care. Let's just _not_ talk about this anymore."

"Cool," Abed said, oblivious to the tension in the room. "Cool, cool, cool."

* * *

_Thursday, April 5 2012_

_Well... I guess plans get derailed all the time. _

_Let me fill you in._

_Annie stopped by last night toting her bags and, yes, a few stuffed animals (but Nathan fits in Ruthie's pouch!). She was kicked out of the sleep study lab at school and needed some place to stay. _

_I decided that Annie showing up was a sign—a sign that it's time for me to sack up and actually tell her how I feel, age and study group be damned. I really care about her. I want her to know that. I want to be with her, and I'm sick and tired of fighting all of those feelings when all I want to do is wrap her up in my arms and never let go._

_Ugh. God. Listen to me. Annie's stupid journal idea is making me into a huge sap. _

_No offense, Journal. _

_Anyway. I tried to talk to her about it last night but she fell asleep. The poor woman was pretty much a zombie when she showed up. She fell asleep on the couch and I carried her to my bed. Just for the record, I need to get a new couch. Between the Chang remnants and the lack of back support, I've been aching all day long. Talk about making me feel old... I'm about ready to invest in a walker and start using Geritol after one night on the sofa. _

_But I digress. _

_My plan—my _new _plan—was to talk to Annie today, but then the group decided to get involved._

_Or, well... not the group. Britta. Britta decided to britta the whole damn thing. She insisted I let Abed stay with me too, as some sort of babysitter/guardian over the young, innocent Annie. I was offended for myself, but I think Annie was even more-so. Those people just don't take her seriously. Not the way they should. Britta acts like she's too young and naive to make her own decisions, and then acts like I'm some sort of creep preying on her weakness or something. _

_And yea, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had those same thoughts... but I'm done with that now. Who cares what Britta thinks? Or any of them, for that matter? The only opinion that matters now is Annie's, and I think she's been pretty clear about how she feels for me. She actually defended me to Britta today. As much as I wanted that conversation to just end, it felt really nice to hear her say something good about me. She and I have been butting heads a lot lately. It's nice to know that she still respects me._

_But now I don't know what to do. Abed's here, so it's not like I can just go out there and pour my heart out. I mean, yea, if anyone in the group had to be privy to that, I'd choose Abed (he's least likely to go blab it to everyone), but I'd still rather just tell Annie. I want her to have the option to respond however she needs to, be that positive (fingers crossed!) or negative. She doesn't need the pressure of having Abed right in the next room._

_Besides, if things go well, I'm going to want Annie all to myself. I love Abed, but he doesn't need to be present for everything. _

_So yea... I don't know when I'm going to be able to talk to Annie. Hopefully I'll get her alone sometime in the next few days, but with the group hovering, that's seeming less and less likely to happen. _

_Wish me luck!_

_Jeff_

* * *

After finishing his journal entry—a task he had decided would be a nightly endeavour, Jeff headed back out to the living room where Abed and Annie were sitting on the couch, munching popcorn and watching a movie. Jeff settled down in between them and grabbed a handful of the snack.

Annie smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder. Whether or not he'd be able to tell her everything he needed to, he was still pretty damn happy to have her there.

That evening around 11:30 Jeff, Annie and Abed were all about ready to hit the sack. He really wasn't sure what to do with them both, knowing that he would either have to couch Annie and double-up with Abed, or risk Annie and Abed sleeping in his bed together. He was pretty sure that would be fine, but it still made him jealous as Hell.

"Alright, how are we going to do this?" Annie asked.

"Well, seeing as there are two guys and one girl, it would make sense for Annie to take the couch and for Jeff and I to take the bed."

"Ugh," Jeff moaned.

"Unless you two wanted to share the bed," Abed amended. Annie let out a high-pitched noise.

"You know what? I think that first option sounds about right. I was going to sleep on the couch anyway," Annie suggested. Jeff scrunched up his face, but acknowledged that this was probably the best way to deal with this situation.

He silently cursed Britta for being such a... such a... _'B'_.

Once the arrangements were made, Abed quickly retired to the bedroom. Jeff hovered around the living room for a few moments longer, hoping to get Annie alone for a little bit before they both went to bed as well.

"It was really nice of you to let Abed stay too, Jeff," Annie said with a small smile. She had taken up residence on one side of the couch while Jeff stayed on the other. He shrugged.

"It's no big deal. Although I'm not looking forward to him kicking me in his sleep."

"Does he strike you as a kicker? I always pictured him as the eerily still, seemingly dead type of sleeper." Jeff chuckled.

"Maybe. Last time I had a sleepover with Abed we were both pretty drunk and he slept in a drawer, so I can't confirm either theory." Annie looked confused. "Don't ask."

"I wasn't gonna," she said with a grin. Jeff smiled back at her, pleased with the relative ease with which they spoke to each other. There had been so much tension between them recently, it was a relief to have their old flow back.

But then he remembered the reason for all of that tension, and decided now would be as good a time as any to address it.

"So... I want to talk to you about all of that stuff you said on Monday, when we found out that guy was that girl," Jeff began awkwardly. Annie rolled her eyes.

"Kim."

"Yes! Kim! Thank you. That's been driving me nuts."

"Yea, I can see you've changed your ways from not taking someone seriously because they have a girl's name." Jeff bit his lip.

"Yea, about all that. Before we found out Kim was a—how did you put it? Cloying, oversensitive stalker?" She nodded at the correct words. "Right, before all that you said something that kind of... you know... bothered me."

"What was that?"

"Well, just, you know... that I'd forgotten about you after we kissed." He watched a pale shade of red creep up Annie's cheeks.

"Well, I wasn't talking about _me_ specifically." Jeff levelled her with a sceptical glare. "Okay, maybe I was... but you can't say it's not true."

"It's not true," he said quickly. "Although I can see why you would think that. Looking back, I wasn't very good to you after all of that." She huffed.

"That's an understatement." Jeff felt his stomach clench.

"Yes it is. But look, Annie... I want to you to know that I never forgot about you. And I know I wasn't fair to you, but it had nothing to do with _forgetting_."

"I know that," she said softly. "I was too young and you didn't want me to think you felt something for me that you didn't. I get it, Jeff."

"No, you still don't," he responded firmly. She gave him a quizzical look. "Annie... I tried to forget about that kiss. I really did, because in my frame of mind at the time, you _were_ too young, and there were all kinds of implications around that that I just didn't want to deal with. It was also, and I think you'll agree, pretty crappy timing given everything that had just gone down with Britta and Michelle."

"Well, I'll give you that," she agreed. He reached over and grabbed hold of her hand, surprising her.

"I want you to know that I didn't forget the kiss. I _couldn't_. In fact I thought about it way more than I probably should have. I still do." Annie watched him, stunned by the admission.

"What does that mean?" she asked, her voice airy.

"It means you matter to me, Annie. You matter more than any of those other girls that I _did_ forget. I care about how I make you feel. I care about your opinion and what you think of me, and it kills me to think that I've been such a jerk that it would make you stop caring about me." Annie bit her lip, peering down at their entwined hands.

"You're safe there," she said softly. She looked up at him, meeting his gaze. "I still care about you. I don't know how _not_ to care about you." Jeff felt a flood of relief surge through him. He hadn't fully realized how much he needed to hear her say that.

"I care about you, too. Which is why it hurts to think that I've given you such a low opinion of me over the past few years." She shook her head.

"I don't have a low opinion of you Jeff. I actually think pretty highly of you, which is why I'm hard on you when I see you doing something that doesn't reflect my good opinion of you."

"Like encouraging two army's to annihilate each other?" he said with a small grin. Annie rolled her eyes.

"Yea, like that." Jeff smiled, feeling better.

"Well, you know what they say: all's well that ends well," he provided. Annie smiled and nodded her agreement.

"I'd say this whole thing ended pretty well."

Jeff was about to respond when Abed wandered back out into the room.

"Jeff, do you have a spare toothbrush? I think I left mine in the pillow fort." Annie and Jeff looked at each other for a moment, hesitant to break away from the progress they were making. Annie snapped away from it first.

"I have a spare in my bag, Abed," she told him. Jeff looked at her questioningly. "What? I like to be prepared." He chuckled and the two of them got up from the couch to get ready for bed.

He was pleased with his progress. It was more than he expected to get done with Abed serving as Britta's _eyes and ears_ during their little slumber party.

* * *

Jeff woke up the next morning with a weight against his chest. He squinted his eyes against the light, and realized that weight was actually Abed's head, and the younger man was laying half on top of him. He was about to push him off when he heard a giggle from the doorway. He caught sight of Annie just in time to see her snap a photo with her phone.

"I swear to God, Annie, if that picture ends up online you will be out on your ass." She just grinned and pocketed the phone.

"You're all talk," she teased. Jeff scowled.

"Try me."

"Actually, you won't get a chance. I just got a call from our landlord—we can go home today." Jeff felt his heart sink.

"Constable Reggie!" Abed cried out, jolting awake. Annie chuckled.

"_Inspector Spacetime _is on right now if you want to watch it, Abed." Abed awoke fully and jumped out of bed so quickly it made Jeff's head spin.

"_Inspector Spacetime _is on at 7:30 in the morning?" Jeff asked. Annie settled into the space Abed had vacated, resting against the headboard.

"There's a marathon on the Space Channel." Jeff nodded his understanding and pulled himself into a seated position. "I was thinking of making pancakes for breakfast. Did you want some?"

"You trying to kill me with early morning carbs?" Her eye-roll in response made him chuckle. "Pancakes sound good... so you're going home, huh?" She nodded, looking a little sad.

"Yea. I'm sure the group will be glad about that." Jeff frowned.

"Are you?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll have to see how it goes with Troy and Abed. They share a room made of blankets... I'm not sure how that's going to work out after everything that's happened in the past few days." Jeff nodded his understanding, placing a hand over Annie's and giving it a little squeeze.

"You know you can always come back here if you need to escape. I don't mind." Annie looked up at him, searching his gaze for hints of doubt. Finding none, she smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Jeff." He hesitated to say the next part, but decided if he wanted to progress their relationship, he'd have to take the plunge eventually.

"And, you know... even if you don't need to _escape_ per say, I wouldn't mind if you came around."

"I'm starting to get that impression," Annie replied in a whisper. Jeff returned her smile, feeling like they were finally on the same page. It was as though a weight had been lifted off of his chest and suddenly he could breathe.

And with his first breath, all he wanted to do was kiss her again, for the first time in way too long.

Jeff let his eyes drop to Annie's lips before returning her gaze, questioning, wanting. She wet her lips as he moved to close the distance between them, wanting desperately to taste her once again. Willing to waste none of their precious moments of solitude, Jeff quickly settled his lips over hers, cupping the back of her head in his hand and holding her to him.

Annie returned the kiss eagerly, wrapping her hand around his forearm that extended toward her and holding on tightly.

It only lasted a moment before Annie hesitantly pulled away, gesturing to the open door.

"We can't do this now. Abed is right outside," she said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. Jeff swallowed hard, remembering once again the reason Abed was there in the first place—to discourage things like _making out_ between them. He let out a long breath, hesitant to take his hands off Annie and fully disengage.

But he knew he had to. He and Annie would have more opportunities to make up for lost time; of that he was certain. He didn't want to ruin whatever moments they might have with the possibility of being interrupted by Abed or anyone else.

As it turned out, they chose the right moment to disengage, because Abed chose that moment to reappear, screaming, "BLORGONS!" and pelting them with balls of wet paper towel. Annie shrieked and grabbed one that landed near her on the bed, tossing it back at Abed. Jeff bit his tongue to keep from chewing Abed out for interrupting. Instead, he just grabbed a few paper towels and began flinging them at his younger friend, allowing himself to momentarily get caught up in the insanity of being Abed's roommate.

No wonder Annie was concerned about going home.

* * *

_Hope you liked it. Let me know!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Community, yo.

* * *

**Dear Journal Chapter 3**

_Friday, April 6 2012_

_Annie and Abed are gone. My apartment is eerily quiet. I know they were only here for two days but it's kind of weird to be alone again. _

_I was able to talk to Annie last night and sort out a lot of the crap that remained between us. It went pretty well, too, considering she let me kiss her this morning. Thank God. I don't think I've ever needed to kiss someone so badly. _

_I think Annie and I are in a place now where we've aired the grievances that needed to be dealt with before we could move forward. Or at least I hope we have. Goodness knows, Annie might have a whole box full of complaints for me before she'll let me touch her again._

_But you know what, Journal? I don't care if she does. I'll address them. Hell, I'll sit down with her and apologize for every single douchey thing I've done if it means I can be with her. I don't think it'll come to that, though. I think (I hope) Annie still wants to be with me the way I want to be with her. I'm hoping that will supersede any of the lingering doubts she may have about me._

_But you never really know, do you?_

_I guess I'll find out soon enough. I just need a moment alone with her, which is easier said than done now that she's gone home. The apartment feels kind of empty without her. She hums _Daybreak_ whenever she's tidying up, or cooking, or doing anything, really. Actually, come to think of it, Abed does too. That song is going to be permanently stuck in my head. _

_Anyway. I just miss her, I guess, which is ridiculous because I saw her at school all day, so it's only been like four hours since I've seen her, but it's driving me nuts. I'm halfway tempted to run over to her place and see if Troy and Abed need any more "mediating."_

_Oh well. I guess I have to get used to my quiet, boring apartment again. Funny, before she stayed here, it never bothered me to be alone. _

_Jeff_

* * *

Jeff set his journal on the coffee table and propped his feet up next to it, flicking on the television to try to drown out the silence. He was happy with the progress he and Annie made the night before, but it still wasn't enough for him. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and_ be_ with her, but now he realized he would probably have to wait a while before he could do any of those things.

Now that she was gone, he was even more irritated with Britta for insisting Abed stay with them the night before. Without all of those interruptions he could have actually gotten somewhere with Annie. Their kiss that morning was great, but it was far too short-lived for his tastes. If he had it his way they would have stayed in bed all day.

He groaned when he realized the TV was still on the Space Channel and the _Inspector Spacetime_ marathon was far from over. He idly wondered if they were going to play all of the episodes—weren't there like a thousand of them? He flicked around the stations, settling on an episode of _Family Guy_ he'd seen half a dozen times before.

He was both startled and relieved when a knock came at the door. He couldn't help but smile when he saw who it was.

"Abed and Troy already driving you nuts?" he asked, smirking. Annie frowned and stepped into the apartment.

"Actually, I forgot my hairbrush in your bathroom," she explained. Jeff raised an eyebrow. "And Abed and Troy are driving me nuts."

"What are they doing?" He led her to the couch.

"Well, apparently they need to have some, and I quote, "Epic Adventures," to make up for their fight, so they've expanded the Dreamtorium out into the rest of the apartment. Only my room and the bathroom are safe." Jeff couldn't help but laugh. "It's not funny!"

"It is for me. But I understand why you had to leave. I wouldn't want to stick around for the make-up sex either." Annie scrunched up her face and swatted him on the chest.

"Eww, Jeff!" He just laughed whole-heartedly.

"What? That's what this is. You realize they're going to be in their second honeymoon stage for a while, right?" Annie groaned.

"Ugh. I know. It was hard enough living with them when they were _normal_ Troy and Abed."

"Normal?"

"You know what I mean."

"I do. Anyway, like I said before, you're welcome to escape here whenever you need to." Annie smiled up at him, which encouraged him to say the second part of that thought. "Actually—and if you say this to anyone, I'll deny it – but I kind of miss having you around."

"I haven't even been gone for a full day yet," she teased, though her face belied her attempts to seem unmoved by his admission.

"I know. It just feels like longer when you're sitting here by yourself." Annie "awed" and reached over to give his hand a little squeeze.

"You're a softie, Jeff. I'm telling everyone," she teased. He faked a concerned face.

"You do and I'm telling everybody you were moaning Pierce's name in your sleep," he threatened. Annie's jaw dropped.

"I did not!"

"They don't know that," he teased. Annie scoffed and crossed her arms indignantly over her chest.

"You don't have any proof, whereas I have that _adorable_ picture of you and Abed snuggling." His eyes widened.

"Don't you even think about it," his tone was slightly less playful now. Annie snickered but backed down.

"Okay, fine. Truce?" She held out her hand and he took it, giving it a firm shake.

"You're way more evil than you let on, you know that?" he joked. Annie smiled widely.

"Aw, you know you love me anyway."

"It's true. I must be totally insane." Annie chuckled and relaxed into the couch, propping her feet up on the coffee table. Only then did she notice the black notebook sitting on the far side.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Oh, it's a journal." She looked at him, surprised etched on her features. "Okay, so it turns out you were kind of right about the whole _journal being a good way to sort out the truth_ thing."

"Really?" she couldn't hide her delight if she tried. Jeff chuckled.

"Yea. Actually I think it's been helping me quite a bit over the last few days. I had no idea how good it would feel to get all of my thoughts down on paper."

"Jeff! I'm so proud of you. It's like you're becoming a real live human being," she teased. He rolled his eyes and reached over to pick up the journal. Settling back next to her, he considered the black notebook in his hand and the multitudes of secrets it now held.

Many of those secrets were among the things that he was desperate to tell Annie... and until that moment, he'd had no idea how to do that.

"Did you, uh... did you want to read it?" he asked tentatively. "I just started so there are only a few entries, but I think they might be of interest to you." Annie looked on hesitantly.

"Jeff, those are your private thoughts. The purpose of a journal is to get them out for _you_, not for other people."

"I know that. And I did write it for me—but as I was writing, I realized that all of these thoughts, these _truths_ seemed to have one thing in common." He used the notebook to gesture toward her, indicating she was the common thread. He knew he had piqued her interest when her gaze left him and went to the notebook.

"Only if you're absolutely sure. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm absolutely sure," he assured her. "I wouldn't ask you to read it if I wasn't." She hesitated another moment, meeting his gaze.

"Why?" He took a long breath, letting it out slowly before responding.

"Because I need you to know these things," he said, although the statement sounded more like a question. "And I have no idea how to verbalize all of this." Annie regarded him a moment longer, seeming to waver between her different options several times before finally settling.

"Alright." She held her hand out for the book, which Jeff relinquished eagerly.

If Annie could know all of the things in that book, then maybe they could have a chance at really moving forward, without any misunderstandings. For as good as Jeff was with words, the moment it came to discussing _feelings_, he was completely stumped. For some reason he didn't have that blockage when it came to writing. The words in his journal were genuine and frank, and they were exactly what Annie needed to hear from him.

Of course, sitting there while she read his most personal thoughts was far more difficult than Jeff originally imagined it would be. He attempted to focus on the episode of _Family Guy_ still playing on the television, but found it impossible to concentrate. It didn't matter that Brian and Stewie were in the middle of performing a massive song and dance number, all he could focus on was the silent woman next to him, learning everything he'd struggled for so long to keep from her.

It felt like hours before Annie finally shut the book, setting it down on the coffee table, and staring into space for a long moment.

The silence killed him. He flicked off the television and turned toward her.

"So..." he attempted. Annie began nibbling her lip, but didn't say anything. "Any thoughts?" he prompted. She turned to look at him with an expression he couldn't describe. It was a mix of confusion and awe.

"You love me?" she asked. He swallowed hard. Had he written _that?_ He thought back to what he had put in there of the past few days. It took a moment, but then he recalled vividly the passage Annie had honed in on: _Every time I see her I either want to jump her bones, hug her, tell her I love her, or just sit there and stare at her forever._

He _had_ written it. And maybe he didn't even realize it at the time, but now that he was reconsidering the statement, he couldn't find one thing about it that didn't ring true.

Slowly, he nodded. "I think so."

"Does this mean you're finally ready to be together?" The nervousness in her voice was so genuine that it almost knocked the wind out of Jeff. How could she not be sure after reading all of his words?

"If you'll have me." Annie's smile in response and the way it made his heartbeat speed up was proof enough for Jeff that he did love her, and he was more than ready to fight through all of the obstacles they would face for the opportunity to be with her.

Instead of responding with words, Annie quickly captured his lips, a kiss that Jeff was more than happy to return. Jeff manoeuvred them so they were laying down, needing to feel as much of her as he possibly could. He'd waited too long for his moment. He was unwilling to waste any more time.

"Can you do something for me?" Annie asked after several moments, her soft voice barely permeating the silence of the room. Jeff met her gaze and offered a small smile.

"Anything." He noted that she seemed hesitant to finish her thought. He gave her a moment, unwilling to rush her now that he finally had her in his arms.

"Make love to me?" she asked tentatively.

Jeff had no choice but to oblige.

Annie sighed and melted into him as his lips brushed her forehead, then her cheek, and then settled onto her mouth. Their lips began to move in a slow, lazy pattern together, and soon their bodies began to follow suit.

The first time Annie moaned into his mouth, Jeff felt the vibration course through his body with an unmatched intensity. He pulled her closer and allowed his hands to explore her body in earnest. He ran his hand down her back, stopping just above the top of her skirt and moving back upwards to tangle in her hair. Her hand had begun to explore his chest liberally, her fingers dancing over the peaks and valleys, finding each indent and committing it to memory.

With each stroke of Jeff's large hand on her back, he could feel her melt more into his body, and the more she relaxed, the less he could stand having any distance between them. He allowed his hand to go further, ghosting over her backside before finding the back of her knee and pulling her leg over his hip.

This new position provided the most amazing heat between them, which he could swear was emanating from her every pore. He ran his hand back up her leg, slipping it underneath her skirt and resting on her backside, using it as leverage to pull her into him. Her breathing became sharper when she came into contact with his growing erection, and soon she was moving against him of her own volition as their kisses became more heated and her moans and mewls more desperate.

"God, Annie," Jeff grunted inter her neck as he repositioned himself to get a better angle. He flipped them so he was on his back and she straddled his hips, enabling them to connect even closer than before. The first time she ground down onto him fully, he could do little to contain the moan that emanated from deep within him. He allowed one hand to find purchase on her backside, while his other tangled in her hair, pulling her flush against him while he kissed her again, finding her mouth open and ready for him as he explored her with his tongue.

Annie continued to explore his body with her hands while she moved against him, building the most unbelievable heat between them and inside of her. She slipped her hands underneath his shirt, revelling in the feeling of his skin underneath her fingertips.

"I want this off," she mumbled against his lips, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He pushed her up and followed her into a seated position while they both got to work on the buttons. He let her push the shirt off his shoulders before reattaching his lips to hers, regaining control while he began to tug the hem of her shirt out of her skirt. He broke apart once more to pull her shirt over her head, and couldn't help a little moan of appreciation at the sight. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss in the middle of her chest, over her heart, before pulling away just enough so he could look at her. He reached out, cupping her face with one large hand and stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. She rested her head against his hand.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to do this," he said softly. Annie reached out and put her hand on his cheek, placing her thumb over his lips.

"Let's not dwell on the past. Let's just focus on now." Jeff kissed her thumb.

"And what do you want right now?" he asked gently, continuing to stroke her cheek with his thumb. Annie bit her lip, looking down at him from her position on top. It was all Jeff could do to keep from moving ahead as quickly as he could, but he wanted this to happen on her terms. He owed her that.

"Now," she whispered, a faraway look in her eyes. Her gaze flitted around the room before she settled back on him, a small smile gracing her features. "I want you to take me to bed." Jeff felt his heartbeat quicken at the declaration, and knew he didn't have it within him to deny her. He leaned in slowly, capturing her lips in a soft, tentative kiss, only adding pressure when she sunk into him. He moved one arm to circle her waist, pulling her body flush against his, revelling in the feeling of her skin on his and wanting nothing more than to reveal the rest of it.

It was only when she began moving against him once again that he made the decision to move. With her already straddling his waist, he shifted his legs off the couch and pulled himself up, lifting her along with him. Annie held on tightly, her arms locked tightly around him, her lips dancing along his neck as he manoeuvred them into his bedroom, kicking the door shut once they had passed over the threshold.

"This is the second time you've carried me to your bed," Annie noted with a small smile. Jeff grinned sheepishly.

"I thought you were asleep last time."

"I was, mostly," she said softly. "But I may have been exaggerating for effect."

Jeff settled Annie onto the mattress, following her down and settling next to her. They each laid on their sides to face each other, hands continuing the exploration they'd begun in the living room.

"I kind of wished you would have stayed here after you tucked me in," she said softly. Jeff leaned forward and captured her lips with a new familiarity, pulling her body against his.

"Maybe I should have," he mumbled against her mouth. He felt Annie smile against his lips before she pushed her body against his and lifted her leg over his hip. He reached down and let his palm rest on her thigh, stroking its length gently.

The two continued their slow exploration for a while, content to feel each other and learn their bodies. Jeff discovered a particularly sensitive spot just above her clavicle and paid special attention to it while she held him tightly against her. Annie quickly found the spot just below Jeff's ear that made him melt, and for several moments indulged him. The two established a give and take that brought them both to the point where they could no longer deny themselves from being together fully.

Jeff chose to take his time undressing Annie, taking down her skirt and leaving her in her bra and panties while he lavished her body with attention. Annie found herself laying on her back while he left hot kisses over every bit of exposed skin, deftly avoiding the areas where she wanted him most.

When he finally removed her bra, Annie was almost ready to come apart beneath him. His mouth tasting the sensitive skin around her nipples was unlike any attention she'd received before, making it difficult for her to maintain her composure. It became even more difficult when he slowly, _very slowly_, pulled her underwear down her legs, kissing each inch of skin as he went.

When Annie was finally bare before him, Jeff sat back, looking over her pale skin, lit only by the light of the moon outside. She gazed up at him through half-lidded eyes and silently begged him to take her to heights previously unmatched.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, unwilling to disturb the heavy silence in the room. In the pale moonlight he could see a blush spread over her body, which only made her more stunning as she laid naked on his bed.

"Jeff," she sighed. His name sounded like a prayer on her lips. He moved to hover over her, kissing her lips softly while her naked body surrounded his partially clothed one. He gave her space as she reached down between them and popped open the button on his jeans and pushed the zipper down as far as she could reach. Jeff pulled away, standing up next to the bed and thumbing the waistbands of his pants and underwear. He watched Annie for any signs of hesitation before removing that final barrier between them.

Before returning to the bed, he found a condom in his bedside table and rolled it on. Annie welcomed him into her arms, wrapping her legs around his hips and catching his eye.

"I love you too," she whispered. Jeff smiled and leaned down to kiss her softly.

He entered her with one long, slow thrust, filling her deeply and resting there for a moment, allowing the feeling of being connected with her to fully envelop him. It was dizzying being inside of her. She was warm and tight, and he could swear nothing had felt more right in his life than this one moment in time.

"Please, Jeff." Her request came out in a breath, and Jeff knew he couldn't deny her any longer. Slowly he pulled back out before pushing in once again, starting a slow and steady pace, wanting to make this moment last as long as he could.

Jeff trailed his eyes over Annie's face as he moved within her, making a mental note of each expression that crossed over her features. But mostly, he just looked into her eyes. No matter how expressive they usually were, nothing compared to this moment, with him buried deep inside of her and bringing her to her climax. Her eyes were heavy-lidded, but watched him with curious intensity. He felt entranced by her gaze, and found himself unable to look away.

The notes of pleasure that passed over Annie's face surged through him as his pace quickened and became unsteady. He grabbed hold of her hand, lacing their fingers together as he thrust into her freely, grunting each time he filled her to the hilt.

He couldn't help but come undone when Annie began convulsing beneath him, her head thrown back, her eyes closed tightly and mouth opened. The sight was undeniably the sexiest, most erotic thing he'd ever seen, and it easily drew out his climax. Jeff wrapped her up in his arms tightly as he came inside of her, hips moving unbidden and uncontrolled.

When finally he was spent, he rolled to the side, pulling her along with him and holding on as tightly as he dared.

Annie was finally in his arms the way he'd wanted her for so long. He wasn't letting go.

* * *

**Epilogue**

_Saturday, April 7 2012_

_I think this journal thing is the best idea I've ever had. _

_Thanks,_

_Jeff_

* * *

**End**

_I hope you liked it! Let me know :)_


End file.
